The Space Between Shadows
by Karri Lena
Summary: Set in season 3. In the aftermath of Trey's shooting, Ryan, Marissa, Seth and Summer each face personal tragedies and triumphs that send their Senior year in high school into a whirlwind of emotions.


**The Space Between Shadows**

**Chapter One – The Awakening**

"Marissa, we'd like for you to tell us one more time the events of that evening."

Marissa Cooper turned her head to face the two gentlemen in uniform occupying the seats across the large wooden table from her. She knew them well - Captain Stanley Wright and Lieutenant Andrew Thomas of the Orange County Police Department. She had spoken with them on several occasions in the aftermath of May nineteenth. She looked at them weakly, her stone cold eyes casting shadows on the hollows of her cheeks. Her chestnut hair was pulled into a messy ponytail at the nape of her neck, and she wore a gray tank top and faded jeans that only served to accentuate the dull transparency of her skin. The two men shifted uncomfortably. This girl was obviously fragile.

"Marissa?" Her father, Jimmy Cooper, softly called her name from his position on her right side. He gently took her slender hand in his, and she quickly glanced in his direction before turning her attention back to the police officers. She hesitated speaking for fear that recounting the happenings of that evening once again would cause hopelessness to completely consume her.

On her left sat Sandy Cohen, her family's attorney. He was also the adoptive father to her boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, Ryan Atwood. She really wasn't sure what to call Ryan these days. They hadn't talked since it all happened three months ago. Though he had called everyday and come by her house at least once a week, she always refused his company. She didn't want to look at him and see the pain in his eyes - the pain she had caused. She was just too ashamed.

Sandy cleared his throat as he looked at her expectantly. "Marissa, are you okay?"

She nodded languidly and closed her eyes. She visibly shivered though the thermostat on the wall was set at 84 degrees. The emptiness that had taken up residence in her frail body was now making itself comfortable. Cautiously, she looked around the room, settling her concentration on the two officers. She took a deep breath, and her heartbeat quickened as she began.

"I walked in and saw Trey choking Ryan." Her voice was barely audible as tears welled in her eyes. "I tried to stop him. I told Trey that he was going to kill Ryan. He hit me, and I flew across the room. I saw the gun, then I saw Trey pick up a phone to bash it against Ryan's head." She was in a robotic trance as the horrific memories invaded her mind, detail by detail. "He was going to kill him. He was going to kill his own brother."

The policemen looked at each other, both trying to extinguish their sympathy for the young girl in front of them in order to remain unaffected. She just seemed so lost and broken. "Do you remember what happened next?" Captain Wright asked tentatively.

Marissa bit her lower lip as she lost the battle against her tears. She could never get to this part without crying. Swallowing hard, she stared pointedly at the officers. "I picked up the gun, aimed it at Trey and pulled the trigger."

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The steady beeping of various machines greeted Ryan Atwood as he stepped through the heavy metal doors of the elevator, exiting to the third floor of Newport Bay Hospital. The nurse at the reception desk looked up from her stack of files and smiled thoughtfully at the young man whom she had seen twice a week for the past three months. Ryan nodded his head in her direction, but he could not force himself to return her smile. He felt like he'd forgotten how. The nurse watched him shuffle down the hall, hands in his pockets and sandy blond head bowed, until he disappeared to the right as he had done so many times before. She sighed deeply. It was a sad sight to see a boy so young in so much pain.

Ryan fidgeted nervously as he neared his destination – Room 351. He silently wondered if he would have the courage to enter the room today. The closest he had gotten was last week when he turned the door handle, though he never actually opened the door. He had just held it idly in his hands for a few seconds before letting go and withdrawing to a chair across the hall.

Now, standing once again in front of the large green door, he knew that today would not be the day he would pass through that barrier. It was only ten thirty in the morning and already he had been through two hours of questioning with the police about his brother's shooting. It wasn't courage he lacked this time, just energy.

He peered through the large plate glass window to the room within, careful to make no sudden movements as if one would awaken the motionless figure resting on the bed. Ryan couldn't remember a time he had seen a hospital room so completely void of flowers and gifts as this one. The only sign of life was the machine in the corner monitoring the brain activity of its resident, Trey Atwood. Ryan stared at his brother, so peaceful and innocent in his unconsciousness. He felt his jaw tighten and closed his eyes against the anger and resentment rising beneath his skin. Ryan knew his brother better than that. There was nothing peaceful or innocent about Trey Atwood.

Since his release from prison Trey had done nothing but take Ryan's life apart piece by piece. And he had hurt everyone else around him in the process – especially Marissa. She had befriended Trey and trusted him, even when Ryan didn't. She had helped him find a job and an apartment, and all he ever gave her in return was a chest full of bruises and a hundred scarred memories. And now, she might go to prison because Trey was too selfish to wake up.

Before Ryan could stop himself, he rammed is fist into the marble wall of the hospital corridor, letting out a cry of frustration. If only Marissa would talk to him. If only he could help her. He couldn't understand why she would choose to suffer through this ordeal alone.

Ryan rested his head on the glass, never taking his eyes off the sleeping figure. "You sick bastard," he whispered through gritted teeth. "You did this to her. You did this to all of us."

Taking one last long look at his brother, Ryan finally allowed his fists to relax as he turned and retreated back to the elevators. The same nurse was at the reception desk as he passed, and she offered him another sympathetic smile. He chose to ignore her this time out of guilt. If only she knew that every time she saw him Ryan was wishing that he had been the one to pull the trigger. He wouldn't care if they threw him in prison. He would just pray for Trey to die.

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"I just don't get it," Hailey Nichol told her sister, Kirsten, over the phone. "Julie ruined his life. Why would he want her back?"

Kirsten Cohen rolled her eyes at her younger sister, though Hailey could not see her. "Hailey, Jimmy is just trying to be there for his family. He had no idea that you would come back to stay permanently." As if Kirsten didn't have enough to worry about with the death of her father, being in rehab, taking over The Newport Group upon her arrival back home, and everything that had happened with Trey Atwood, she was now having to comfort Hailey in her so-called loss of Jimmy Cooper. "Besides, you're the one who left him."

Hailey furrowed her eyebrows and groaned inwardly. She hated when her sister was right. "I know, I know. But Julie? Anyone else on the planet would be a little more forgivable, but _her_? She's probably so glad that Dad died. Now she gets all of his money, gets the guy, and gets to screw me over all at the same time."

"Hailey," Kirsten sighed, switching the phone from her left ear to her right. Sometimes the girl could be so selfish and overdramatic. "Julie is not going to get _all_ of Dad's money, and she isn't going to ruin your life. But maybe if you hadn't blown through your entire trust fund the year you turned eighteen you wouldn't be so worried."

Hailey stuck her tongue out at the phone. It was a little immature, she realized, coming from a twenty-six year old woman, but she couldn't help herself. Even as a recovering alcoholic sitting in a rehab center Kirsten managed be so goddamn self-righteous sometimes.

Kirsten could feel the slightest hint of a freeze in her sister's silence. "Hailey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She trembled slightly as memories of her last moments with her father played in her mind. The last thing she wanted was to start a fight with someone else she loved. "You gave up your job to stay home and take care of Sandy and the boys. I owe you so much."

Hailey felt her heart stop a beat as a wave of guilt washed over her. "Uh, yeah. Like I said before, I'm happy to do it." She hated lying to her sister, but she wasn't sure that Kirsten could handle the truth in her present state. Sandy was the one she really needed to talk to, but in the last three months she could never get up the nerve.

"Well, my phone time is about over here. I'll call again tomorrow." Kirsten sighed as loneliness began to take over. She was desperate to break free of her prison and get back to her normal life. "Everything will be fine with Jimmy. You'll see."

"Yeah, thanks. I love you, Kirsten. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Love you, too. Bye."

Hailey replaced the phone in the receiver and rubbed her temples with trembling hands. She had to talk to Sandy. She had made some bad mistakes before, but this time she was in way over her head.

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Seth Cohen sat Indian style in the middle of his bedroom floor, rifling through stacks of comic books in search of a few to donate to the children's ward at the hospital per his mother's request. When she had first asked him two weeks ago he had scoffed and told her there was no way in hell he was giving up any of his _graphic novels_. Well, maybe he didn't say that in those exact words, but he was pretty sure she got the point until five minutes ago when she had called from the rehab center to "remind" him. Leave it to Kirsten Cohen to organize a charity event from a locked down location five hours away. The absurdity of the scenario alone made it impossible for him to turn her down twice – even if it did mean sacrificing something so near and dear to his heart. But the actual search was proving to be a difficult one. Every comic he came across seemed to have sentimental value for one reason or another.

Though it was an arduous task, at least he had something to think about for the time being besides the Trey incident like he did every other second of the day. It was hard to forget when Ryan, his adopted brother, was back to being the strong silent type of years past. Not that Seth particularly minded the silence. It just meant there was more time for him to talk. But Ryan was different this time around. He seemed drained and disoriented, almost haunted. Seth thought Ryan's behavior probably had more to do with Marissa than with Trey. It was killing Ryan to not be able to see her. The only person she would agree to talk to outside of her family was Summer Roberts, who just happened to be Seth's girlfriend. That was the main reason he wished this whole nightmare would come to an end.

Since the moment Marissa was released from questioning the morning after the shooting, she and Summer had been completely inseparable. Seth couldn't remember the last time he had spent more than fifteen minutes alone with his girlfriend. Every time they would come close to unbuttoning a shirt or unzipping a pair of jeans, Summer's cell phone would ring and she would utter the phrase that made Seth's libido crumble with each word. "It's Coop! Gotta go!"

He understood that Marissa and Summer had been best friends practically since they were born, but he and Summer were dating. And they hadn't had sex in a very, very long time. He respected her and all of her decisions involving her body, but he had long surpassed the withdrawal period. He was heading fast into desperate territory with no intentions of slowing down.

In the middle of his pity party a light knock sounded at his bedroom door.

"Aunt Hailey, tell mom I'm working on it," he grumbled without looking up from his stack of comic books to see who entered his room. "It's not that easy."

"Cohen, what are you talking about?"

Seth's head snapped up to find Summer standing over him, her hand perched on her hip and her left eyebrow raised in amusement. "Hey there, Summer." He paused, feeling a little embarrassed at the incredible amount of comic books spread across the floor, though his girlfriend was well aware if his addiction. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled as she crossed the room to sit on his bed, threading her fingers together palm to palm as she sometimes did when she was nervous. "Well, Marissa had a breakdown during her questioning, so her mom gave her a Valium. She'll be out for a while."

He watched her with fascination as she sat down then immediately stood back up again, an anxious jitter in her step. He arose from his position on the floor, wincing as his legs regained normal circulation, and closed the short distance between them. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, lacing his fingers through her thick raven hair. "So, we have the afternoon to ourselves? Interesting."

She looked at him and her heart seemed to stop. She was actually tense about being alone with Seth Cohen. They had dated off and on for two years, and they had slept together more times than she could count. What could she possibly be worried about? She opened her mouth to speak, but only air escaped her perfectly polished lips.

He saw her hesitation and cupped her face in his hands. "Sum, we don't have to, you know, do anything if you don't want to. I know it's been a while for both of us. I don't want you to feel like just because we get to spend a day together we have to, well, you know. I'm just glad I get to see you."

She smiled at him, feeling a little more relaxed. "I want to, Cohen. I'm just a little nervous. We've been doing fine without sex since we got back together. I just don't want to jinx it." She bit her bottom lip and looked to the floor, fearing he would think her superstitions ridiculous.

"Well, Summer, you make a good point. We do live in Orange County. The downfall of every relationship is either money or sex. And since we both live off of our fabulously rich parents, therefore removing money from the equation, sex might be it for us." She rolled her eyes and he placed his right hand on his chest. "But it's a chance I'm willing to take."

"You are so cheesy, Cohen," she said with a smile creeping upon her face.

"Now, where have I heard that before?" He kissed her softly, trying not to push too hard though every nerve in his body wanted to throw her on the bed and rip off her clothes. He started to pull away, but she grabbed his face with her hands and kissed him forcefully, quickly regaining her fiery self-confidence with every touch of their lips.

"And you're sure Marissa isn't going to call?" he asked, his hands finding their way under her shirt.

She pulled away, looking at him with devious eyes. "I turned my phone on silent."

He picked her up and spun her around, planting kisses on any part of her body his lips could reach. "You just said the magic words."

"Weren't you working on something for your mom when I came in?" She giggled breathlessly as she worked to undo his belt buckle.

"Oh yeah, that." He bent down and picked up two comics, throwing them on his desk without even looking at the titles. "There. All finished."

She smiled against his mouth as they tumbled on the bed, tossing clothes haphazardly around the room, and praying to Jesus and Moses that no one walked in anytime soon.

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The smell of Thai spices and chocolate chip cookies welcomed Sandy Cohen as he opened the front door of his Newport Beach mansion. Curious, he followed the sweet aroma into the kitchen where he found Hailey dishing helpings of Pad Thai from aluminum takeout containers into large pasta bowls. A plate of homemade cookies was placed on the corner of the kitchen island, and Sandy couldn't resist biting into one.

"Hey, how was work?" Hailey asked, smirking when she saw her brother-in-law steal a cookie from the plate.

"Don't ask." He sank onto a barstool, placing his briefcase on the counter as he did so. "I missed two calls from my wife today."

Hailey granted him a somber smile. "I know. When she couldn't get you on your cell she called here."

Sandy shook his weary head in frustration. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I spent the first five hours of my day at the police station watching two poor teenagers fall apart under the pressure of our justice system. Then, I went up to the D.A.'s office to find out what the next step is if Trey doesn't wake up, and believe me when I say 'it's not good.'" Sandy loosened his tie and stood to help Hailey finish preparing dinner. "This was all concluded by a less than pleasurable trip to Julie Cooper's house. I swear that woman sits around and thinks of new ways to make every situation more unbearable."

Hailey nodded her head in agreement. "Tell me about it."

Seth and Ryan entered the kitchen through the back door leading in from the pool house. "Hey, Pops," Seth greeted as he and Ryan took their seats at the dining table. "You look tired or something. Seriously, there are major bags forming under your eyes. You might want to think about investing in some cucumbers."

Sandy narrowed his eyes at his son and chuckled as he and Hailey joined the boys at the table. "It's nice to see you, too, Son." He turned to Ryan who was rubbing his eyes with the palms if his hands. "How are you doing? Did you visit Trey today?"

Ryan nodded without speaking. Instead, he picked up his fork and began to swirl noodles around in his bowl. He wasn't in the mood to talk about his brother. He just wanted to spend five minutes not thinking about Trey.

Sandy cleared his throat, hearing Ryan's silent plea for a change in conversation. "So, Seth, what did you do today?"

"Um, well, um…" Seth stammered, finding himself in unfamiliar territory, as he was not able to quickly come up with a decent reply.

Hailey smiled at her nephew over the rim of her wine glass. "You know," she said playfully, "Summer was up in your room for quite awhile this afternoon."

Everyone at the table raised an eyebrow and stared directly at him. He made a silent note to kill his Aunt Hailey at his first given opportunity. "Well," he began as his brain searched for the best cover-up response, "she decided to resume her comic book lessons from back in the Anna days. Yeah, see, she left off with Batman, and we didn't really feel that was a safe place to stop considering X-Men is the next step."

Ryan started to choke on his dinner and pounded a fist against his chest. Sandy smiled and nodded as Hailey innocently took another sip of wine. And for a moment things felt almost normal in the Cohen household.

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The antique grandfather clock dwelling in the foyer of the Cooper residence tolled to signal ten in the evening, drawing Marissa from her medicated slumber. She blinked her eyes repeatedly in an effort to rid herself of her hazy, dreamlike state as she grabbed the small clock on her bedside table to confirm the time. She looked to her window, puzzled to see no light penetrating the delicate sheer curtains.

She had fallen asleep shortly after lunchtime due to the powerful sedative her mother had given her. Marissa winced as she recalled the hysterical scene of uncontrollable sobs she had created that morning at the police station, and briefly wondered if Sandy had mentioned it to Ryan.

Shaking her head in a pitiful attempt to remove him from her thoughts, she pulled back her fluffy down comforter and sluggishly climbed out of the warm confines of her bed. She trudged towards her walk-in closet to slip into her favorite pink Burberry robe and matching slippers, but was stopped short when she noticed a small silver box tied in lavender ribbon gracefully perched on her vanity. Curious, she picked up the package and studied it for a moment before reading the inscription on the tiny card.

_It always made me feel brave. Love, Ryan._

Marissa's heart stopped, and she momentarily forgot to breath. Her hands trembled as she pulled the ribbon apart, letting it fall gently to the floor. She lifted the top of the box, and she gasped as involuntary tears spilled from her eyes. Inside was Ryan's leather wrist cuff. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him wear it. She didn't even know he still had it in his possession.

She slid the cuff on her left wrist, and pushed it up to her shoulder to keep it from falling off. As she glanced in the vanity mirror, a small laugh escaped her throat. While it always made Ryan look tough and mysterious, she just looked like a little girl playing dress up. That observation aside, one thing was definitely for sure – it did make her feel brave.

She took off her gift and placed it back in its box before heading into her closet, this time in search of her most comfortable pair of jeans and a fitted polo shirt. She emerged seconds later and took one last look in the mirror as she grabbed the silver box and her car keys. She had a pool house to get to.

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The soft yellow glow of the moon reflected in the Cohens' infinity pool, briefly catching Ryan's attention from where he stood at one of the floor-to-ceiling windows in the pool house. He looked on as tiny shimmers of light danced upon the gentle ripples in the water, eventually falling off the edge and drifting to the sea below. He glanced at his watch for the fifteenth time in two minutes, silently wondering if Marissa had gotten his gift.

"Hey, man," Seth said from his usual sitting position in one of the custom designer armchairs Kirsten had imported from Italy. "I'm sure she'll call when she wakes up."

"You mean like she has all summer?" Ryan asked sarcastically.

Seth tilted his head from side to side. "Okay, you have a point."

Ryan lowered the roman shade to cover the window and sat down on his bed, resting his elbows on his knees. After dinner, when Sandy had told him of Marissa's breakdown, Ryan immediately knew what he needed to do. Of course, he had planned on giving Marissa the gift himself whether she wanted to see him or not, but apparently nothing could get through the force field that was Julie Cooper.

"Dude, I'm sure it will be fine," Seth muttered, attempting to reassure his friend, but all he got in response was a low grunt.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, Seth flipping through the pages of one of the comic books he had decided to part with in the good name of charity, and Ryan watching the second hand on his watch tick away the time. A soft knock at the door pulled the boys away from their respective activities, and they looked at each other in question. It was very uncharacteristic of anyone in the Cohen household to knock. Ryan stood and opened the door, coming face to face with Marissa.

"Hey," he managed to say through his paralyzing shock. He hadn't even expected her to call, much less drop by.

"I don't know how I got here," she said in response clearly surprised to find herself standing in front of Ryan.

He looked at her hands still clutching her keys. "I think you drove."

She gulped hard, feeling a lump rise in her throat. The burst of courage she had obtained in her bedroom had worn off the minute she passed through the big iron gates of the Pelican Cove housing development. She had circled the Cohens' street three times before she could talk herself into parking in their driveway.

Her hands flew to her mouth in an attempt to muffle the sob she could feel about to erupt from her chest. A couple of tears trickled down her face like a few drops of rain before a storm. "I got your gift," she said as she lowered her head to the ground, too ashamed to look at him anymore. "That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me."

He pulled her to him, his arms tightly encircling her slender frame, and she began to weep into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she said repeatedly through broken sobs. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. Not at all." Ryan continued to hold her, relishing in the warmth of her body and the subtle scent of her lime shampoo. It had been a long time since they had been like this.

Seth tried to slip out quietly in an effort to give his friends a little privacy, but he barely made it past the edge of the pool when his father came bounding out of the glass doors from the kitchen.

"I'm glad you boys are still up," Sandy told them, his expression unreadable. "Marissa, I wasn't expecting to see you, but it's good that you're here. I have something important to tell all of you."

The three teenagers looked at him expectantly, all noticing that he seemed a little nervous. And if Sandy Cohen was nervous, the news had to be big.

"I just got a call on my cell phone from the hospital," he said, trying to remain calm and composed. "Trey is awake."


End file.
